Secret confession from the girl-next-door type ladies out there: We’re not very good at being the bitch.

Whereas select friends have no problem ruthlessly telling guys the exact degree to which they are not interested, I (or we, rather) tend to fail at being so blunt. The illegal Mexican waiter, or the baby’s daddy who hangs out at the local BP, startup conversation and next thing we know they’re clearly confusing casual small talk with any potential level of attraction. Though I personally admit this gives way to some killer stories, hello fellas. Take a hint.

What I guess I’ve never thought about though, is that MWM probably wind up in a very similar predicament from time to time. There’s always the chick you note from across the room, pathetically throwing herself all over some poor soul and clearly not conscious of any obvious hint that the guy is so not interested. And unfortunately, I have no advice for you if you happen to be that guy. The way I see it, you’ve got two options:

a. Get real with them. Like I said, I am usually pretty horrible when it comes to this act. Despite their seriousness, statements like “I would rather screw the bum in the corner, than give you my phone number” just don’t come out of my mouth unless accompanied by laughter.

Or b. Slowly start doing the one word answer routine until you can eventually break away and initiate a full on mission to avoid them for the remainder of the night. I realize that this may be a bitch move (or in your case an asshole move) in its own right, but hey. If a person can’t adequately read blatant body signals, it’s fair game, right? Right. (Not to mention. Things can remain a little less awkward if future interaction is required.)

Regardless of your turn down style though, I say we call it even. Until some novel new form of communication for the oblivious is invented, we won’t label you as an asshole. We’ve been in your shoes.