Riding a packed mass transit rail the other day, I spot a guy nearby reading a how-to book on “The Art of Having Charm.” Obviously, being both amused and incredibly humored by this, I conspicuously try to make myself just a little bit taller so that I may, just possibly, be able to look over his shoulder and read the corresponding paragraphs of finer print. Now, this would probably be a better story if I could tell you that I succeeded and enjoyed a few more giggles on the topic of achieving charm. But unfortunately, my efforts were to no avail.
So since I now know that you guys, whether publicly or not, are open to advice, I’m writing my own cheesy, but seriously serious, how-to guide entitled “The Art of a Successful First Date [The Manners Edition].” And with that thought, here’s the good stuff:
For the five must-do manners to be followed by every guy on every first date, regardless of time, place, or agenda, read on…
1. Get Out of Your Car. My guess is that you’re going to be picking up the lucky lady. At least I hope so. (Quite frankly, it would just be weird if she drove.) So when you pull up to her place, resist the urge to do the sixteen-year-old-too-cool-for-school thing and lay on the horn. Instead, put the car in park and walk your fine-ass butt to the door. Even if you only meet each other two feet from the headlights, an outside of the car hug or greeting is way better than the awkward, sitting down, center console, I-don’t-know-what-to-do-so-I’m-just-going-to-say-“hi” challenge.
2. Open Doors. I know it’s old fashioned, but it’s sweet. And not to mention, your mother would be proud. Midwest guys do a pretty fine job at this, but in case you forgot, it’s an easy must-do. Please and thank-you!
3. Chew with Your Mouth Closed. Considering food is included in a majority of first dates, having good table manners will definitely keep you in good standing. Though this is easily one of my pet peeves, I’m sure a majority of girls would agree: chewing with your mouth open = major turnoff. Pause your training for the next hotdog eating contest, and press play when we’re not around.
4. Save the Interview for the Work Place. You may have thought through various talking points to ensure that conversation goes smoothly. Do not, however, try to cover all these in a bing-bang-boom kind of format. The best dates that I’ve gone on are the ones where we don’t share our pets’ names, siblings’ ages, religious affiliations, medical history, and class schedule all in a row. Just let conversation flow and such things will be discovered with time. We can’t let you know everything about us on the first date! (and secret confession: there’s no way we’ll remember even close to everything about you this way.)
*After typing number four, I’m thinking that that’s more of advice rather than a manner…but oh well. Leaving it.
5. Take the Bill. Just do it. It’s polite, and not to mention, it IS the first date. After the first few, sharing in the financial expenses is perfectly acceptable. …but that’s just one girl’s opinion I suppose.
Boom. Now you’re set. Date away, dudes.